If you, like me, are counting down the days until the not-entirely-neccessary-but-extremely-welcome sequel to A Simple Favor (appropriately titled Another Simple Favor, I guess because A Simple Favor II: Electric Boogaloo didn’t pass muster?) lands on Prime Video on May 1, then today’s rom-com recap is for you. Yes, friends, it’s time to revisit the original 2018 thriller starring Blake Lively, Anna Kendrick, and Henry Golding.

Below, find quite literally every thought I had while rewatching A Simple Favor on Netflix.

1. God, these opening credits are so fun and français.
2. Paul Feig, you wily Francophile!
3. Wait, this movie was a novel?
4. That kind of seems like something I should have known already.
5. And here’s Anna Kendrick as Stephanie, a mommy blogger making zucchini chocolate chip cookies. (Barf. Paleo moms, love yourselves more than this!)
6. Hey, she said “a simple favor”! Everyone drink!
7. TL/DR: Emily (Blake Lively) is missing, and Stephanie is very worried about it, though not worried enough not to vlog.
8. Why do rich schools do stuff like “International Cuisine Day”? The kids obviously are not old enough to put any of this together! You’re just makng more work for the parents!
9. Hey, it’s Andrew Rannells.
10. And Aparna Nancherla!
11. If I do have a kid, are the other kids’ parents going to be mean to me? Because I already went through this whole school-clique rigamarole once!
12. Okay, top-10 best movie entrance of all time for Blake Lively.
13. She is sooooooo gay-coded (and so hot, if I may be so bold) in this movie.
14. “Mommy already has a playdate with a symphony of antidepressants.” LOL.
15. Stephanie, if a hot woman in a trilby hat asks if you drink, say yes.
16. Françoise Hardy in the background? Hell yeah.
17. Apologizing is a fucked-up female habit, Emily, but whenever someone tells me not to apologize, I automatically apologize for apologizing, so how do you suggest I three-point turn out of that particular femme intersection?
18. Oh yeah, I forgot Stephanie is a single mom in this movie, whereas Stephanie’s husband Sean (Henry Golding) is almost rudely attractive.
19. Henry Golding and Blake Lively making out? Okay, bisexual bat signal!
20. Can we outlaw the term “mommy brain”?
21. Am I really to believe there’s “no decent nanny in all of Connecticut”?
22. I mean, shit, I’ll move there if it means being lavishly paid and flirted with by Stephanie and Sean!
23. This lesbian-groomsman suit on Stephanie is wild.
24. Ooh, a little Zaz now! The soundtrack continues to deliver.
25. I feel like I was just given a valuable tip on how to make a martini, but I zoned out.
26. Oh, these girls are drunk.
27. Emily bisexual reveal!
28. “Prudes are people too.” So real!
29. Wow, it does not take much to get Stephanie to spill the biggest secret of her life (hooking up with a guy who turned out to be…her half-brother?).
30. Never has a line been delivered with as much panache as Blake Lively saying “You’re a brother-fucker! Oh, that is good.”
31. Okay, we have a runner-up in “Hey brother-fucker, do you want to stay for dinner?”
32. I want a friend who will come over, get really drunk, spill humiliating secrets, and then make me dinner!
33. Andrew Rannells observing this twisted “friendship” dynamic is all of us.
34. “Give ’em heck!” Aw, Steph.
35. Okay, no matter how annoying your beta-mom friend is, you can’t just dump your kid on her with no warning for days.
36. Oop, now Sean’s home and the police are involved.
37. Okay, why does this bitch (Emily) hate being photographed so much?
38. I’m kind of the ideal person to recap a thriller like A Simple Favor, because I actually have seen it before, yet I have no memory of what happens.
39. I kind of do want to watch a mommy-vlog channel that doubles as a true-crime investigation.
40. Stephanie’s idea of a “fancy,” Emily-ish outfit is sending me.
41. PATTI HARRISON!
42. “You bargain-basement Tom Ford.” Let’s GO, Stephanie-channeling-Emily!
43. I genuinely want to queen out with this little trio of bitchy parents passively observing Stephanie make a fool of herself.
44. Oh shit, are Stephanie and Sean going to hook up?
45. Again, I’ve seen this whole movie before. And yet, here I am, spellbound by each plot point!
46. They found Emily’s body.
47. Or…DID THEY?
48. Oop, okay, that’s definitely her.
49. Or…IS IT?
50. Andrew Rannells (sorry, I’m spacing on his character name) admitting to Stephanie that he and his girlies watch her vlog to make fun of it is bold and kind of commendable.
51. Emily’s kid not-incorrectly diagnoses Stephanie with trying to be his mom, and it definitely gets to her, although she’s still sweetly trying to help him grieve.
52. Yep, Stephanie and Sean are hooking up. You called it, kid!
53. I think said kid’s name is Nicky, though I would not bet money on it.
54. And Stephanie’s son’s name is…….something. It’s definitely something.
55. And now for a little emotionally resonant Serge Gainsbourg!
56. French people saying the words “Bonnie Parker” and “Clyde Barrow” really will always be funny.
57. Ah, the requisite spiritually-wearing-Emily’s-skin-by-trying-on-her-gowns moment.
58. Oh wow, Sean took out a huge life insurance policy on Emily before her death. Are we dealing with a Timothy Ratliff-style family annihilator here?
59. Anna Kendrick really does have an almost Steve Carrell-like gift for comedic timing.
60. Eek, Nicky is saying he saw his mom at school. Ghost? Or is someone…not dead?
61. Ahhhhh, he has the blue bracelet Stephanie made for Emily!
62. Bro, staying with a woman who stole priceless jewelry from your mom is…a choice.
63. Then again, Sean seemed to know perfectly well that he was getting into something deeply insane with Emily.
64. Steph, if a man says “You see me,” you need to run.
65. Gun in a Manolo Blahnik box!
66. And a dildo in a dresser drawer!
67. Man, Emily was (is???) fun.
68. Stephanie is moving in with Sean, which…babe! No!
69. Vlog seance time.
70. The child actor playing Nicky has range, I must say.
71. Oh shit, Stephanie got a little nod to her “brother-fucker” revelation in the mail that could really only have come from Emily.
72. And then, of course, a telemarketer call.
73. And then a call from Emily!
74. Such is life.
75. OMG, Sean! Cue “Gaslighter” by the Chicks.
76. Wait, so Stephanie’s late husband knew about her thing with her brother? And…maybe intentionally killed them both?
77. Yet another thing I forgot about: this Emily/Stephanie kiss that Stephanie is clearly into and Emily isn’t phased by.
78. LINDA CARDELLINI!
79. In an artsy-lesbian role, no less!
80. Aha, a link between the Michigan camp Emily allegedly died at and this weird past as “Claudia” that she led with Linda the artist!
81. OMG, Emily used to be…twins?
82. Named Hope and Faith?
83. Like that multicam sitcom with Kelly Ripa?
84. Okay, last time I will all-caps yell an actress’s name, but: JEAN SMART!
85. Stephanie’s jaunty little investigation hair bow is killing me.
86. This woman does not miss.
87. “It’s unseemly, the way that man polices me.” God, the delivery!
88. Okay, Emily’s mom knows her as faith and is referring to some mysterious fire.
89. Man, Stephanie is really good at basic-ing her way out of trouble (she’s fleeing Emily’s mom house with the knowledge that Emily was a twin).
90. Still vlogging while you investigate your psychosexually charged bestie’s disappearance after shacking up with her husband is some true commitment.
91. Hey, there’s Emily! Furiously watching the vlog!
92. This scene of Stephanie rapping along to the radio is spiritually linked to Marnie Michaels singing “Stronger.”
93. Emily meets up with Sean incognito to rightfully get pissed at him for sleeping with Stephanie (in a perfect little hat, I might add).
94. So Emily staged her own death for the insurance?
95. Oop, and she has yet another gun!
96. Stephanie spills to Sean that Emily had a twin (who accounts for the DNA match on the body in the lake), and there’s an insurance lady there for some reason?
97. Oh, it’s because the insurance claim isn’t going to go through. Got it, got it.
98. Can’t get anything past me!
99. Stephanie’s starting to dress better, which clearly means she has the upper hand.
100. Yes, girl! Gaslight him back!
101. Emily in this white suit! I burn, I pine, I perish!
102. I’m just realizing that this is 100% the inspiration for the suit I bought for the Met Gala that is currently at the tailor, and I didn’t even realize it.
103. Wait just a goddamn minute, they were triplets?
104. Faith, Hope, and Charity?
105. Okay, so Hope and Faith killed their shitty dad.
106. But then they split up because they were too noticeable on the run together?
107. And they were going to meet up again but Hope never came?
108. Okay, so Emily met Faith at their old camp and…killed her?
109. I need to know exactly what they did to Blake Lively’s face so she could play her own heroin-addicted twin.
110. Wait, okay, so Emily actually didn’t kill her twin?
111. Oh, wait, yes she did, LOL, but only after Faith tried to drown her.
112. And she put the ring she stole from Sean’s mom on her!
113. But she’s obviously lying to Stephanie about killing her sister, which Stephanie is actually able to ferret out as a lie.
114. Sean knew the whole time???
115. Aw, Emily came back for her son!
116. Kind of love the underlying working-mom-versus-SAHM cultural dynamic being explored here.
117. Perfect use of the song “Laisse tomber les filles.” Leave the girls alone, indeed!
118. I do love female cahoots.
119. OMG, Andrew Rannells to the rescue!
120. Okay, wait, after a very long double and triple-crossing sequence…Emily is arrested?
121. Well, it looks like she’s enjoying jail, at least.
122. Aw, and Stephanie’s a private-detective-slash-vlogger.
123. Is this the most thoughts I’ve ever had about a movie?