Yes, definitely. I was always a driven and internally motivated student and expected a lot of myself in terms of grades and achievements. I went to a pretty rigorous middle school, the goal of which was to get into one of the most prestigious specialized high schools in NYC. Once I got in there, the emphasis on grades and achievement became even more pervasive, because of the culture and extremely rigorous curriculum. Pretty much everyone in this high school had their eyes set on one of the top 10 universities in the US and there was never a question in my or my parents’ minds that I would go to college, and that it would likely be one of the top schools in the country. When my parents were getting divorced, my mom included a clause in the settlement that my dad had to contribute to half of my college tuition costs until I turned 21, no matter which college I went to. (My dad had originally only agreed to pay for a state or city school.) I was fortunate to get significant financial aid from my university, which included work study so I worked throughout my four years at school. I also took out $30,000 in federal loans. The rest was paid for by my parents (Dad stopped paying when I was 21). My mom paid for my housing throughout college: dorm for three years and a house shared with five friends for one year.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
I didn’t get much education about finances, but my mom made me an authorized user on her credit card when I was in high school. She would sit down with me at the end of each month to go over all of my expenses, making sure that I was using the credit card in a smart and responsible way, and I had to pay her back for any “fun” purchases I used the card for. Not only did this help me build great credit, which benefits me now, but it also made me more responsible with my spending than some of my friends were in high school and college.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first job was transcribing medical records for a small private practice. One of my high school friends set me up with this gig the summer after my junior year because I wanted extra spending money and to list job experience on my college applications. It was a boring job but I enjoyed the sense of responsibility and independence it gave me. I’ve been employed in at least some capacity every year since then, whether at summer internships or with work study during school semesters.
Did you worry about money growing up?
Before my parents got divorced when I was 13, we were upper-middle class. I was aware, of course, that some of my friends who lived in mansions or wore all designer clothes were wealthier but my parents always made sure I had everything I needed to be happy — and then some. We went on vacations at least once a year, ate out a few times a month, and I got most things I asked for (though my parents always made me wait several months to ensure I really wanted the item, which taught me the value of patience and not impulse-purchasing). After the divorce, I was living just on my mom’s income and though my dad was paying child support until I was 21, it wasn’t nearly enough to comfortably live the way we did before. My mom always did her best to shelter me from any money woes and to provide me with everything I needed, even when it took tremendous sacrifice on her part. This included paying a pretty penny for my extremely expensive university, helping me fund study abroad, and going on fun vacations every year. I know now that there were many years when money was extremely tight for her, particularly in the years right after the divorce and when I first started college, but she always sheltered me from that.
Do you worry about money now?
Not really. I think I have a pretty abundant mindset when it comes to money and I am quite intuitive and intentional with my spending. I don’t spend money on things I don’t actually want or need, and I don’t impulse-purchase very often. That said, I don’t mind spending more money on things I genuinely feel will make my life better. Of course, transitioning to being on just one salary between P. and me, with him getting pretty small loan disbursements quarterly (as his salary), has taken some getting used to, but truthfully I think we’ve gotten pretty comfortable now at knowing what we can and cannot afford and not skipping out on things that truly make us happy or improve our quality of life.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I became mostly financially independent at 24 when I moved to SF to live with P. I became fully independent at 26 when my health insurance coverage under my mom lapsed. My mom would absolutely help me out if I were ever in a tight spot, but I would prefer not to ever ask her for financial help, especially given how much she’s already done for me and since I know she has her own retirement funds to consider. P. feels the same way about his savings and has been independent for several years now too. My financial net is my and P.’s emergency funds and savings.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
My mom gave me $5,000 when I moved out to use for emergencies or any purchases that I couldn’t quite afford with my own income. I ended up using it all when we bought our car right before we moved to SD. My grandma also gives me $100 pretty much every time she sees me, which I usually use for fun, infrequent expenses like getting my nails done, buying a coveted clothing item, or taking a trip.
