During a recent conversation with a long-time friend, the topic turned to style. We both live in areas that tend to skew very casual, and frequently find ourselves surrounded by a sea of leggings and sweats. As a result, we often feel as though we stand out, just by dressing with more intention. It got me thinking (again) about our comfort levels with visibility and style choices.
Women over 50 often speak of feeling invisible. While our society is undoubtedly ageist, I do think that personal style can be a way to show up and stand up for ourselves. To be visible, and work toward changing the narrative.
When we dress authentically to feel like our best selves, we will feel and project more confidence. And I believe that in presenting ourselves authentically and unapologetically, we free others to do the same.
Visibility can be a double-edged sword though. Some of us were raised to prioritize conformity, or have experienced a lot of criticism about our appearance. Or maybe we’ve experienced pressure not to dress “better” than our peers. If so, dressing in a way that stands out (whether intentional or not) can be uncomfortable. “The nail that sticks up gets hammered down…” etc.
It can become a vicious cycle. The more we feel insecure about our appearance, the more we tone it down. And the more we tone it down, the more insecure we can feel about being visible. Breaking out of the cycle can sometimes require taking some risks. They don’t have to be huge, flamboyant risks. It can be something as simple as adding a fun accessory or two, or swapping out your wear-everywhere sneakers for a pair of cute flats. Little by little, you can build upon these to increase your style confidence.
(Caveat: I do think there are times when blending is a valid choice rather than a capitulation. For example, when I travel I usually tend to dress in a way that’s more understated. And I take into account regional norms. It’s not about “trying to look like a local,” but rather just not calling attention to myself as a potential target.)
Our style doesn’t have to shout for attention or embrace the latest trends for us to be visible. An outfit that looks neat, put-together, and intentional can go a long way. Here I added some favorite accessories to a simple base of tee shirt and jeans, and topped it off with this double-breasted sweater blazer (also available in black and charcoal).
When we dress authentically to feel like our best selves, we will feel and project more confidence. And I believe that in presenting ourselves authentically and unapologetically, we free others to do the same.
What do you wear to feel more visible? Let me know in comments!
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