Managing Life After Abuse: Self-Care and Recovery Best Practices

DGIX

May 10, 2025

Abuse is one of the most traumatic and difficult experiences a person can go through. Surviving abuse can be harrowing, even when the abuser is no longer in the picture, but it’s only the first step. You’ll want to start a path to recovery by seeking support and keeping yourself safe. Every recovery journey is different, but there are some common threads between them that can encourage safety, healing, and happiness.

Let Yourself Feel

Abuse is complicated and can create a confusing and diverse array of emotions, from relief to anger. When you’re recovering, you may find yourself experiencing waves of emotional outbursts. It’s even normal to grieve the relationship you had with your abuser if familiarity existed between you. It’s important to let yourself feel these emotions. A healthy emotional response is a good sign you’re recovering. Suppressing your emotions can lead to immense stress and emotional withdrawal, making it difficult for you to form new support systems and enjoy your life after the trauma. A mental health professional can help you manage and channel your intense emotions easier, but you should always let yourself understand and feel the emotions that come to the surface.

Cut the Abuser Out Completely

If there is a chance that you’ll see or talk to your abuser on occasion, try to eliminate the chance as much as possible. Block them on social media if applicable. Avoid the places they frequent within reason. If the abuser is a coworker, try to arrange for working on a different schedule, in another department, or in a separate part of the building if possible. You may want to discuss the situation with supervisors in order to protect yourself. Obtaining a court protective order can help you maintain the distance you need. If your abuser is a co-parent, you can arrange for court-supervised visitation or court-mediated child pick-ups and drop-offs. You can still obtain a protective order with a co-parent. Keep yourself safe.

Expect Lifestyle Changes

While you can certainly live a normal life after going through abuse, you can’t expect everything to remain exactly the same as before. Your life experience has changed, and lifestyle changes will come along with it. You may prefer to wear your hair shorter than normal, or enjoy entertaining friends at home instead of at a bar. As long as you’re recovering and comfortable, you should expect and even welcome these changes. You may even experience a change of religion or church, especially if your abuser frequents the same church as you. You don’t need to lose faith completely, but switching churches may be in your best interest. When studying the sexual abuse allegations with the Diocese of Saginaw, Michigan, many victims experienced a lapse of faith or transitioned to other church settings. You’re not alone, and like with any major life event, changes are a part of life.

Get a Support System

Recovering from abuse by yourself can make the process more difficult. Support systems can provide protection, distractions, and a shoulder to cry on when needed. Surround yourself with friends, loved ones, or family members that support you without harm. They can help encourage you when needed and support you when you’re having a low day. You’ll want mental health professionals in your support corner as well. Finding a trauma-informed therapist or psychiatrist who understands you and helps you is extremely important for the recovery process. You may also want to consider abuse support groups to connect with those who experienced similar situations. Abuse advocacy centers may also be a valuable asset, especially if you need housing, financial, childcare, or general support resources.

Sleep In

A healthy night’s sleep can do wonders for mental health. Make sure you’re creating a routine that encourages a decent amount of sleep. Eliminate screen usage before bedtime. Create a timely routine that helps you wind down around the same time each night. Calming music or reading can help stimulate a sleepy feeling. You’ll want to get up around the same time each day as well. Aim for at least six to eight hours of sleep, depending on how long it takes to help you feel rested. Sleeping can be tricky when you’re experiencing anxiety, depression, PTSD, or other conditions after abuse; talk with your counselor and doctor if you need some medical or therapeutic intervention.

Eat Comfort Meals

Remembering to eat can be difficult when you’re in recovery mode, but a hearty meal with ingredients you love can inspire you to stay full and nourished. If you don’t have the energy to cook, try to get some instant meals or takeout whenever possible. Cooking for or with loved ones can provide motivation as well. Avoid skipping meals whenever possible and eat healthy portions.

Get Moving

Moving your body is excellent for mental health. Whether it’s a simple stretching session or a hardcore strength training routine at the gym, moving your body can help distract you, give your brain an outlet for tough emotions, and keep you healthy and strong. It can be a lot of fun to move with friends or loved ones. Dance classes, motion video games, and goat yoga are some fun examples of engaging exercise.

Build Up Your Confidence

Confidence levels can plummet after you’ve gone through abuse. Abusers will seek to lower your self-image and self-esteem as much as possible, and it can be challenging to get them back. Surround yourself with positive influences that will lift you up when you’re feeling down. Wear clothing that makes you feel good. Get a haircut or have a makeover day. Push away negative self-talk and speak positive affirmations out loud instead.

Explore New Things

It’s normal to feel disconnected from yourself after abuse, but reconnecting with hobbies and activities you used to love is important for the healing process. Revisit your favorite hobbies and creative activities. You can even try new hobbies to see what resonates with you. Bring a friend or family member to make it even more fulfilling. Group painting, cooking classes, or pottery instruction are some fun examples, but choose whatever seems interesting to you. You can also visit new places or try new restaurants.

Conclusion

It’s vital to keep in mind that healing often isn’t linear, and it will take a lot of time. You may experience some setbacks that can be disappointing, but picking yourself up and continuing your road to recovery is the best way to fight back. Some days, you may only have energy to take a shower. Other days, you may have a jam-packed day filled with connection and fun. With some self-care, self-compassion, and support, you’ll find yourself fulfilled and happy in no time.