When you’re a member of the royal family, that means almost everything in your life is elevated to a, well, posher level. That, apparently, includes a family barbecue, where the royals come to the occasion dressed to impress.

According to former royal butler Grand Harrold, “They would wear nice daywear—the King would wear nice chinos and a shirt, for example. It’s very much a family thing, that’s what it’s all about. It should all be about having a nice time with friends and family and relaxing.”

That said, he told The Sun, one should be prepared to dress up rather than down if they’re for whatever reason in attendance at one of these gatherings: “Let’s just say, if it’s a barbecue at the palace, then you’re going to want a pair of nice chinos and silk shirt, or formal shirt—not a T-shirt,” he said. “If it’s on the formal side, as a gentleman, you should have a jacket, but if it’s not, you could have an open neck shirt.”

“For the ladies, you should wear a cocktail dress if the weather is good,” he continued. “But if it was on the beach, you would need to follow suit with beachwear. It’s always better to overdress than underdress.”

Harrold then added the caveat, “It’s always up to the host to decide on the dress code, though, so always check in ahead of time.”

Though the royal family typically had a chef to prepare most of their meals, family barbecues saw the royal family themselves preparing the meal. “They were very hands-on,” Harrold said. ‘They did it themselves. The staff didn’t do it.”

He added that Queen Elizabeth “would do the salad with Charles, Prince Philip would do the barbeque with Princess Anne. It was very much a team effort.” The barbecues and picnics “were very much family affairs,” and you can apparently leave your picnic blanket behind—“If it’s a royal event, it’s guaranteed you would bring outdoor furniture with you to sit on,” Harrold said.

Traditionally, he continued, “it was always the man in charge—the ladies were in charge of the table settings.” And as for the table settings? “Plastic is not acceptable,” he said. “It’s best to go back to having china and cutlery out. You can always find second hand cutlery and china if you don’t want to use your finest china, but why not impress your guests? Make sure you’ve got napkins—never serviettes.”

Even though times have evolved, when it comes to the men leading the grilling, “it still seems to be the norm,” said Harrold, who was a butler for King Charles before he took the throne.

“The roles have to be divided, and it’s probably fair that the person who is best at cooking is the one who should be doing the barbecue, and the person who is best at setting the table and prepping—that sort of thing—should have those responsibilities,” he added.

Okay, but back to fashion for these occasions—God forbid one should spill something on themselves, then what? “If you spill some food down on you but it isn’t noticeable, leave it,” Harrold said. “If you look down, people are more likely going to notice. I always carry a spare shirt and chinos and a tie as a backup, just in case. It’s always a good idea to have something you can change into.”

“If you’re a member of the royal family, you would always have a spare outfit,” he added.