Christie Brinkley is taking a look back at her whirlwind relationship with ex-husband Billy Joel ahead of the release of her upcoming memoir on April 29. While the “Uptown Girl” singer swept Brinkley off her feet in the ‘80s with a highly-publicized courtship that cemented them as an It power couple, their fairytale romance wasn’t to last. In a new interview, the supermodel opened up about the definitive moment she knew she “couldn’t live” with Joel anymore and decided to pull the plug on their marriage.

While the now 71-year-old supermodel says she tried everything to save her “wonderful” relationship with the “Piano Man” singer, his drinking habits ultimately played a role in their breakup. Brinkley told Page Six that she and Joel were “probably really soulmates,” calling their relationship an “amazing time of my life” while wondering what could have been if his alcohol intake hadn’t been an “issue.”

“I had so much fun. We were such nomads, gypsies—just between his job and mine, we were seeing the world…it was wonderful, really wonderful,” Brinkley says of their marriage, which lasted from 1985 to 1994.

However, Joel’s disappearances while drinking took a toll on their marriage, as Brinkley shared in her upcoming memoir Uptown Girl. Per Page Six, the star revealed that the musician would go missing, sometimes for days, using their daughter Alexa Ray’s fifth birthday party and a Thanksgiving dinner as one of the many examples of events he dipped out on.

However, she recalled that the breaking point came when Brinkley and Joel hosted his band over at their home for a rehearsal. “He was acting delusional in a way I’d never seen before,” she told Page Six, revealing that Joel became convinced that his bandmates had eaten his pasta after he’d already eaten it. 

Brinkley told Joel that she wanted a divorce the next day, but it was still a hard decision. “To be clear, I never wanted to end things with Billy,” she explained. “I read every self-help book I could find…we went to see a string of psychiatrists, psychologists and other medical doctors.”

Despite their ups and downs, Brinkley revealed that she has no hard feelings towards Joel. “He’s the father of my firstborn and we spent such great formative years together. And I’ll love him forever. Things just reached a point where I knew I couldn’t live with him.”

In an excerpt from her memoir Uptown Girl previously shared with People, Brinkley wrote that Joel’s “drinking was bigger than the both of us” and drove them apart from each other. “In the end, when the relationship isn’t functioning the way you want it to be anymore—that’s the worst kind of loneliness because you just can’t make it work together and that’s painful,” she shared.